We can’t choose what happens but we can decide how to act.
Whenever a problem strikes our outlook can greatly shape how it affects us. The simple act of labeling a problem shapes what kind of power we let it have over us. For example, whenever an issue occurs the simple act of labeling it as “bad” creates a divide. It makes it appear as if even having this kind of experience should be avoided at all costs. That something needs to happen to reset the balance.
This denies the possible learning or great benefit of experiencing suffering. We’ll go over specific kinds of pain to see what kind of value they can bring.
Physical pain can be an indicator of a problem we need corrected. There was a family which had a genetic abnormality where their nerve endings could not register pain. This means that broken bones lead to atrophy and strain was caused to the body which was compounded with trauma because they were unaware that their body was sending them a message.
A sign of pain can be an early warning sign to indicate that there is a bigger problem at hand. It can let you know how to adjust, avoiding added trauma to a wound which certain sensations make us aware of. It is a fine tuned system that lets you know your limits.
Even in pain which is perhaps unyielding and constant, without a known purpose, we can either let it compound by making it to be a major deterrent, or we can accept it and better work with it.
This ranges in terms of experience. Emotional pain such as losing a loved one is a healthy thing to experience, grieving and crying can be very therapeutic.
Certain kinds of mental strain such as being slighted, mislead, or talked down to may be painful but often we have to look at the person causing it. It is likely they are lashing out because of some untreated trauma wherein they feel lashing out is acceptable. In this situation it’s best to have compassion, those we may consider the worst may be the most emotionally stunted and mentally fragile.
Accept the good and the bad, don’t walk away from it and don’t cling to it. Simply observe with no need to call it good or bad because that causes a loop where we would want to either find a solution, or feel self-satisfaction. The proper way to find resolve is by not being sticky, not holding on to the feeling that the situation is bad. By letting your mind be unclogged you’re more apt to find solutions.
Is there anything to learn from the moment? A good attitude to consider whether or not something can be done. It’s best summarized by the idea of:
If you can do something about it, don’t worry about it. If you can’t do something about it, don’t worry about
Don’t wobble! Let it be as it is. The only way we know good is by comparing it to bad. Both good and bad are two signs of the same coin. It’s the same reason why in implies out, foreground implied background, life implies death, light implies dark. They can both teach things of value, and we know inherently we need to embrace the bad in order to improve.
The hurt from exercising strenuously, working on projects and sacrificing time, keeping a stable diet, having compassion for yourself are all kinds of sacrifice that amount to more stability.
This isn’t a belief system, you’re literally doing nothing. Not judging, not trying to get away from, not wasting mental energy, only doing that which you can to push your humanity forward.